Healthy action steps when you’re angry
Insights for energy flow when we’re triggered…
Do you get angry?
We may all have different levels of how we personally experience anger, and some of us tend to get triggered more often, and more angry than others.
Anger is actually a healthy emotion because it can move us to create changes. The trick is using how we feel in safe and healthy ways.
When we talk about moving through anger, we’re talking about energy flow.
It’s important to understand that depending upon how we feel, the energy in our body begins to flow through us in different ways.
If we’re “triggered” causing us to feel angry, the energy flow in our body begins to move upward and outward. (i.e. our breath get’s higher in our chest and/or our face gets red). This is energy flow.
Anger is often activated when our personal boundaries are crossed.
This doesn’t have to be a physical boundary, it can also be when a boundary of something we have a strong belief in is challenged. The anger will rise to reinforce our boundary.
In the article “The Force of Your Anger is Tied to the Source of Your Anger” Dr. Leon Seltzer writes, “the primal emotion of anger is one of your most powerful defense mechanisms.”
But, if you were to pay attention to what’s happening in that moment of the anger you’re experiencing, you’ll actually feel the energy in your body beginning to rise up and out to defend itself.
But here’s what’s interesting, if we let that anger move upward and outward (safely and without harming anyone else, or ourselves of course) that energy would be allowed to disperse itself in a healthy way. You’d get it out of your body and continue to move forward with ease.
As a Physician of Chinese medicine, who specializes in the medical Qigong, I teach people how energy moves through our body, directly corresponds to our health and vitality. The more in tune we are with how we’re feeling, the more empowerment we have over the direction of our life.
This is why the energy medicine traditions such as medical Qigong use breath and body dispersing techniques to clear, nourish and regulate the smooth flow of energy moving through us.
But so many people have learned to press that energy down inside themselves (instead of allowing it to move through them in a safe way).
And yes, of course today we’re discussing the energy of anger, but this can happen with any of our emotions we experience (i.e. fear, worry, grief,etc.).
Stuffing is not making it go away
But when we push down our anger it literally continues to build inside our body. The “energy” of the emotion (the feeling you experienced) is still there. And with every other experience you have, you create layers. And it can be there for years and years.
It’s never too late to reach out for help. Getting real support from a Therapist, or other professional qualified to help with how we use emotions is always a great idea. As is learning how to tune in to your own energy flow and constrictions.
So now that we’ve brought a state of conscious awareness to seeing our angry moments, what do we do in those moments we get triggered?
Remember that we’re talking about staying safe and healthy here. When we’re experiencing anger, we never want to take our anger out on ourselves, another person, animal, or property. We don’t want to go into a texting or social posting rage either. There’s way too much of that going on in the world. But it’s OK to acknowledge to ourselves, that something has really pissed us off. And it’s great to begin to move…
Begin with these steps
Notice exactly where you feel it in your body. Creating body awareness is key in transforming our energy.
1) Keep an Emotion Journal
Do you feel tense, numb, or pain? Are you holding your breath, or breathing quickly? Are you able to stop and pause, or do you tend to leap into the anger blindly?
Write it out (with the date). This is a great way to track how you feel, while you put healthy action steps into place.
2) Specific breathing | Long inhale and quick exhale.
This kind of breathing helps disperse energy.
Take a long inhale (through your nose), then let the air out quickly, blowing it out your mouth. As you exhale quickly out your mouth, focus on letting your shoulders relax. Releasing as much tension as you can. Practice 3-5 times — rest for 1-min. — repeat 3-5 times.
*Of course if you get dizzy, lightheaded, or have any pain (anywhere) stop immediately and if you’re standing, sit down.
3) Get moving!
Keep your energy flowing — not stuffing.
Moving our body, whenever we’re feeling an intense emotion keeps our blood and oxygen flowing. This is especially good for figuring out solutions, instead of fixating in anger, feeling stuck, or stuffing it down.
When we experience different emotions our body releases chemicals to support how we’re feeling. This is why the above tools are also great to use when we’re just starting to feel frustrated, or irritated.
Refocusing our energy is key
When we can honor how we feel, move and breathe through our experiences, we help the chemicals in our body rebalance themselves.
In fact I’ll often suggest to couples who are struggling with emotions, to take a walk with their partner and engage in conversations. Moving our body and our breath helps open our heart and mind to see fresh perspectives.
4) Allowing is energizing
When we allow ourselves to feel what we’re experiencing, without blocking the energy, or cutting ourselves off in some way, we also allow ourselves to grow from those experiences. Whenever we can look through our experiences with a variety of lenses, the more we expand.
Anger can be scary, it can feel like a loss of control, which is why we try so hard to control how we’re feeling.
But when we can look at it from a view of internal energy flow, we begin to see any emotion that’s being triggered in us as a gift to just pause, breathe and listen more deeply.
When we’re in alignment with our reactions and responses to the triggers all around us, that’s really what living an empowered life is all about.